we have pet lesbian snakes
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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