I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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