ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
