the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He has the fingertips of a God
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
