I'm sorry my penis didn't work
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
