What did we do last night that was yellow?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
