don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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