I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
