Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
