So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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