i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
