True but thats because hes a fetus.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
