Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
