I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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