Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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