My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
