so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
