He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
