did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
