You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I understand Curling. That high.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I am available for nakedness
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
