I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
