Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
