Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
