Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize