Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
