At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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