So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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