I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
