Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
