Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
