no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
