So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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