she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
