So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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