he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
