ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
