Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
