New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
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