Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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