So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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