They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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