i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
