adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
the raccoons are back...
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