Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Drunk is not a location!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
