i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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