is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
