Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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