there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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