can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
