this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
